Fast-forward 21 days, I'm here, in my warm and cozy house, cleaning out the closet, perfectly happy, and almost perfectly healthy. NO breathing problems. NO splint during the day. No more syringes. Plenty of soft fish fillet to gum through. I can even open my jaws wide enough now to slip in a small square of chocolate (see traces of it on my lower lip) - and when it melts on my tongue, it's pure heaven.
The swelling has persisted in my cheeks, and you can still see hints of green bruises, but it's not freakish anymore. I have an appointment with an MLD therapist tomorrow. Hopefully she can wave her magic wand and make my cheeks and neck feel better. And if she's good, I'll post her contact information here as a referral.
To all of you out there - thank you for reading my blog and sharing this unusual experience, and thank you for your encourgements. You made my recovery a lot easier. Many of you are going through the same thing: take good care of yourselves, keep breathing, think positive thoughts, and know all this is temporary. This, too, shall pass!