I was - am - heartbroken.Highly functional by day, and highly dysfunctional by night, I didn't want to go home after work. Didn't want to be home alone, drowning in tears and dark thoughts. Smoking cigarettes and sipping Scotch. Struggling to forget when it hurts to remember. - To no avail.
Then in my occasional, 2-year-long search for a canine companion, I found Charlie. A fully grown, 1-year-old Cocker Spaniel/Beagle mix who weighs 25 lbs. He needed a loving home and I needed affection. Perfect win-win situation.
As with any commitment, a lot of work is required. But I'm ready - and actually looking forward to it. Training classes, walks on the beach, sunny afternoons in the park, etc. Perhaps commitment breeds love - I don't know.
A friend of mine just wished me "Maitri & Karuna" on Facebook.
Maitri = friendliness, pleasantness, lovingness
Karuna = compassion, mercy
How very kind of him. Now - let the healing begin.
2 comments:
I always enjoy reading your blog, I found it whilst researching orthognathic surgery. I was due to have the same procedure as you did yesterday but they cancelled it as I was sick (which I believe was just due to massive nerves)
I'm sorry to read about your hurt, I've been feeling so sad and dissapointed after yesterdays events which is why I was reading your blog again.
I always find you seem to be positive and productive and I was going to go through your old surgery posts in the hope some of your attitude would rub off onto me.
I think even though this appears to be a sad post you've put a positive spin on it.
Best wishes with everything.
Ruby
Hey Kirsten, it was more than a year ago that I discovered your blog and it had given me strength through my own surgery. It's been 10 months since my op and just like many people, have settled into the usual mode of life. This is my first checkback since long ago, was just wondering how you are doing. I've always felt connected to your story, am sorry to hear of your sadness in this post. I am grappling with my own marriage issues right now, and a part of it has to do with how my hubby feels that I have 'changed'. Sigh. Be strong girl, as will I.
Carol
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